Bowing at the Altar of My Inner Cook

I only have one resolution - just one.  The year 2014 is prime time for me to bow down to my Inner Cook.  I want her to have the reverence she deserves. 

I deliver a meal every evening to a very tough audience.  My husband is vegetarian.  My 6-year-old is pescatarian.  My little one thinks cheese is a gift from the gods.  My teenager hates cheese, except when it sits on a pizza.  I am a full-fledged carnivore and 100% lactose intolerant.  Confused yet?  Imagine feeding this bunch.

It has been my practice to prepare one meal with several variations.  On spaghetti night, everyone agrees to eat the noodles.  Then vegetarians have a meat-free sauce.  The meat lovers get the ground turkey.  The cheese lovers go to town on the Parmesan. The cheese haters abstain.  We all eat together and on very rare occasions, one of us enjoys the food.  It's usually me.

I believe in making the good stuff.  I take to heart the sentiment we are what we eat.  I buy local.  I buy organic.  I grow food out back - avocados, figs, plums.  And I decorate a well-balanced plate.  Still cooking has been a miserable experience for me.  I spend far too much energy waiting for an applause.  Instead of the standing ovation anticipated, I typically get blank stares and lots of questions like, "What is this?" and "Why are you making us eat it?"

I haven't enjoyed the process, I realize, because I have been far too invested in the outcome.  Eating is something we all have to do - two or three times a day.  No wonder cooking can feel like a chore.  I don't want to spend another year staring reluctantly at the stove.  And I won't. 

This is the year I will dance in my kitchen while throwing peas in the pot.  I will try new recipes and only entertain ways to make them as flavorful and nutrient rich as possible.  I will hang out at chefy spots like Sur La Table, Surfas, and Williams-Sonoma.  I may even drag my husband out to a date night cooking class.  Why not make it sexy?

I got a head start on this resolution at the end of 2013.  Those not so religious Christmas cookies pictured above were made with my own hands.  My Inner Cook delighted in pressing teeny Star Wars faces into homemade dough.  These treats didn't last long after making their debut.  Nobody questioned why Yoda was a holiday cookie or why they had to eat him.  They just ate.  And I moved onto the next recipe - a chicken soup with egg noodles, carrots, leeks, fresh herbs, in a broth made from scratch.  When our college kids took this meal back to campus, my Inner Cook took note, but kept moving.  I took a moment to laud her with praise, then sat down and ate the soup myself.  I enjoyed it - as usual.

Share your favorite recipes in the Comments section.  My Inner Cook will thank you!

Havoc the Holidays

Drama is conflict.  It draws us to the edge of our seats.  It keeps us waiting, wanting to see what in the world will happen next.  

So why do we try so hard to escape it?

Embracing drama might make the holidays less festive, but it won't make them less entertaining.  As creative bodies, we should use this time of year to examine conflict a little closer.  You need rich material for your next novel.  Maybe you work in reality television and have run out of fresh ideas. You could even be gainfully employed in dispute resolution and looking to invigorate your training manuals with up-to-date scenarios.

Wherever you are and whatever you do, look at the holidays in a brand new light.  Stop seeking peace.  It is futile.  Instead havoc the holidays.

Here are my top five suggestions for Holiday mayhem:

1. Don't stuff a crabby family into a station wagon.  Do you really want to endure an endless barrage of "are we there yets."???  Instead, consider hitchhiking.  This will kill any preconceived notions your little ones may have about stranger danger.  Imagine the rush of riding shotgun alongside a hairy truck driver.  What stories might you uncover from her sordid past?  And if you all survive, your kiddies will have the best "how I spent my winter vacation" essay for their teachers. Win-win!

2. Don't blow the bank.  In fact don't spend any money at all.  Winter is the perfect time to change religions.  Be brilliant about it.  I envy those faiths that require fasting all day long.  Imagine how much cash they save.  Instead of going into January broke and worried, they bring in the new year with fat pockets and a slim body.  If your children were expecting presents and now feel they're getting the short end of the stick, explain that they are free to practice whichever tradition their heart desires.  You will embrace their generosity and gladly accept their gifts.

3. Invite family members who despise one another to your home at the exact same time, on the exact same date.  Stand back and enjoy the brawl.  If you placed bets on the winner, you just came up on some extra holiday cash.  Video tape the fight and YouTube it.  It's guaranteed to go viral.

4. If your drunk aunt wants to dance on the dinner table, don't be a prude about it.  Allow her the space to shake her shimmy.  Make it rain with the funds you won from the family fight.  But don't YouTube this one.  It's uncool to record someone without sober consent.  

5. Go to a shelter and stay the night.  It's super altruistic to offer visiting relatives your entire house.  Savor the soup those holiday do-gooders are ready to spoon into your bowl.  You didn't have to cook it, so be thankful.  But whatever you do, don't sleep on the cots.  Instead, pack an air controlled tent.  This is a sure way to keep tuberculosis at bay.  

Have better ideas? Let me know in the Comments. 

Female Fan Mail

"i SEE music."  - Beyoncé

Upon hearing these words, I cried. 

WTF?

I'm not the pop culture fan type.  When I discovered that a billion other girls loved Michael Jackson, I was over that man. Finished.  Done.  Imagine my surprise when Mrs. Carter drops a visual album and tears start to fall down my face.  I repeat, WTF?

I self analyze constantly.  So I asked myself why.  Why are you in tears, Malika?

The answer wasn't hard to uncover.  I too see music.  I also see the written word.  I am a filmmaker.  And filmmaking is visual. 

There are not many like me.  I am a rarity.  This is not self-flattery.  Film directing is one of the last bastions of white male supremacy.  Was that too strong?  Let me say it another way.  If you are a young woman of color looking to score a white dude, go to film school.  If you're into cinema types, you'll find a congregation of caucasian men.  This is no joke. 

So when Beyoncé, Black woman goddess from Texas, said she made a visual album, I had to see it.

I was blown away.  And cried some more.

Beyoncé released seventeen brand spankin' new music videos on iTunes.  However, only one was directed by a woman.  This was PRETTY HURTS helmed by the superbly gifted Melina Matsoukas.  I shouldn't fail to mention that Beyoncé co-directed a few herself, but she chose two fellas to share her credit.

The blonde musical icon is now publicly embracing feminism.  Thank you Beyoncé!  One of my honest-to-God favorites from her visual album is FLAWLESS.  Right smack in the middle of this track is an excerpt from Nigerian author Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche on the definition of feminism.  This time instead of crying, I cheered!

Beyoncé Giselle Knowles-Carter is about female empowerment.  An all female band.  Taking charge of her own brand.  Co-founding an organization that promotes "education, health, and justice for every girl, every woman, everywhere" - Chime for Change.  She's using her voice to make moves for the ladies.  Go Girl!

However, if I were to write my first pop fan letter, it would read something like this:

Dear Mrs. Carter,

Please hire more female directors. Thank you. 

I would sign my name, stamp it, and send it off.  If she wanted leads, I would offer a short list of peers.  Of course, I would slip my name in that hat too - not that selfless.

Here is my personal short list of women directors.  This list is not at all comprehensive. I am totally guilty of nepotism here.  I like to find work for the family.

My Short List:

Tina Mabry is the award winning director of MISSISSIPPI DAMNED.  A USC alumnae who originally hails from the dirty, dirty south.  I would recommend Ms. Mabry for Beyoncé's NO ANGEL video - a visual poem dedicated to Houston's hoods.  Tina is the versatile, down to earth type.  She can converse with presidents and kick it with every day people too.  Her chopped and screwed music video interpretation would look nothing less than candy coated stunning.

J.J. Stone wrote and directed a gorgeous short film titled IF I LEAP.  Leap is the story of a nun tempted by sexual desire.  How hot is that!  Stone is the perfect directorial fit for MINE.  Beyoncé's concept for this video was a Virgin Mary-esque portrait of love, pain, and want - topics J.J. Stone has in the bag.

Numa Perrier is a mixed media maven and the type of director I love.  She has her hands in a little bit of everything.  Perrier explains her process best in CROCODILE OF VARUNA.  With all the Victoria Secret models, fish net, and lace, Perrier, also a fashion glove designer, would work wonders with YONCE.

Director Tchaiko Omawale's favorite subjects are disorder and dysfunction.  She's into some really eerie shit.  I love her short film PRETTY DOLL - crafted from a three-day film challenge.  It's experimental in all the right ways.  Tchaiko would have fun with  HAUNTED.  This music video is reminiscent of Stanley Kubrick's THE SHINING.  The actual director, Jonas Akerlund, delivered a magnificent piece of video history, but how might it have differed under the helm of a woman?

I'm inviting lady filmmakers from around the world to participate in an exhibit for International Women's Day 2014.  Make a music video and share it with my audience.  You can use a song from your favorite pop artist.  Or offer your talents to an underground female band.  Here's the only caveat, your video has to highlight or encourage women's rights and/or gender equality in some way.  Don't get all stale and lecture-y.  You can deliver a message and still keep it sexy - just look at Beyoncé.  However, DO NOT spend Beyoncé bank making your video.  Be the Queen of tapping into your available resources - an iPhone, iPad, an old ass analogue - whatever.

Submit links to your videos here.  Include "Women's Day Music Video" in the subject line.  A curated selection will exhibit in my Ground Floor Gallery space and also here on the Joie de Vivre blog during Women's History Month.  The deadline for submissions is February 15, 2014.

Looking forward.  Ase!